I am married to a reasonable, capable, intelligent, God fearing, and loving person. Are you? I know… Big question. And on most days, you’d probably be touting their numerous gifts and talents. That said, don’t you find that every once in a while, (whether it’s your fault or theirs or both) you wonder why they can’t understand what you’re trying to communicate?
Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about! Those moments when you’re using the same vocabulary you’ve used every day but suddenly he (or she) is staring at you after a litany of explanation as if you didn’t even speak. And the exasperation from that can exist on many levels. For me at least… I rummage through such non-logical thoughts as “If I seriously injure him, he won’t be able to take out the trash tomorrow.”
The inability to communicate is more than the lack of understanding. It’s the thought that all the effort was for naught; and now, if one really wants to get that good response, a new way to communicate must be found. Personally, I’ve never found physical efforts to be effective. But recently I made a discovery that I’d like to pass on to you.
Here’s the scenario: Hubby and I were loading up to leave for a trip. As usual Hubby was wanting everything packed his way, and this particular morning it was not going his way. I could see that he needed to slow down. He had it all planned very well, but he was rushing around and not thinking straight, which happens to us all… We are trying to do too many thing at one time.
I tried to speak to him, to get him to slow down, and he just blew me off. I tried a second time and same result. So, I backed into a wall and pulled him over where he couldn’t move. I just smiled at him and said, “Hi.” He fussed but I didn’t relent. I held on tight, and repeated (as I looked into his eyes smiling) “Hi.” He stopped fussing and looked at me, like he didn’t quit know what to do with this and where was this going. I repeated a third time, “Hi.” He calmed down, and quickly the ranting raving lunatic was gone; there was Hubby smiling back and saying to me, “Hi.” Yes, we were a little behind schedule but everything went well from that moment…. No more ranting.
I’ve had my moments when I needed someone to just take me by the shoulders and say, “Hi.” I guess we all have. The point is, that this temporary lack of communication seems to often be the need to slow down, or to rest. (Yeah, I know… This from me, Queen of Workaholics.) Sometimes getting things done isn’t as important as loving the person you’re with. So if you’re the reader who is running crazy with too many projects… This, from me: “Hi.”
May you find peace and quiet with loved ones in every day.
Best… Carolyn Thomas Temple
