These past twelve days I have been almost violently ill from a severe allergic reaction to dust and dust mites. Oh, I’ve always been allergic to these little buggers but now that I live in Arizona… In the Valley of the Sun… this allergy has gone to a whole new level. When the wind blows mightily or one of our infamous dust storms hits us, I no longer have an allergic reaction; I pop a full blown infection. Realizing this, the medical profession has called for changes I’d not expected; and while they will make me a healthier woman, these changes are not easy to accept after years of living a way I can no longer live.
The changes have ranged from completely washing down every wall, every piece of wood and glass in my house to the addition of washing all of the floors, bedding, pillows, and picture frames. This pretty much describes my regiment for Spring cleaning, which once took place in April or May but now, is a weekly and even daily event in my home.
Now we must pause here a moment to make this insert… Since I had to wash everything (did I say baseboards as well?) I decided to up the ante and rearrange all of the furniture in the house… Something Hubby likes, but doesn’t. (He is happy to have it finished, yet does not care for the chaios it creates for the interim. God bless him for not throwing me into the street… Instead he sucks it and helps me get through it!) I mention this event because while this is extremely tedious for me, my new health issue has also impacted the man in my life! He deserves written credit for being the stand-up guy that I call Hubby.
Okay… That’s one change. Another is washing my hair every single day to remove any dust that may have landed there throughout a twenty-four period. And yet, as I faithfully washed and washed, another change came to pass: I must now cut my hair!
If you’re a man reading this, maybe you’re laughing. So, let me just say that, separating a woman from her hair would be like taking away your car or your TV remote! So if you’re laughing, just cut that out right now. 
This hair cut exists on several levels…. I have not had short hair very often in my life… And after the deed was done, I have very quickly vowed to never do it again! So here I am cutting it but this time, and for as long as I live in the dusty state of Arizona, I must have this very short hair-do. Argh!
Today at 10:00 MST my hair was cut. I thought I would cry as I gazed at my lifeless tresses lying all about on the floor of the salon. I was pathetic in my thought and demeanor. In fact in my mind, the entire event was pathetic. Every woman who gathered round to see the finished product told me that basically I did not look like the “pin head on an over-sized body” that I was sure I resembled. Yes friends, I was making a change in my life and this first cut was very uncomfortable.
My neck is now barren and deeply accessible. My eyes look bigger than Betty Boop’s head on her classic body. Maybe these are the good things. Who knows and time will tell. All I can say for sure is that in just this one day, my eyes and nose no longer itch and the rash on my face is already gone. So it truly is something I had to do, yes? But the perception of Self is seriously working to accept this “boy’s do.” I pass a mirror and can’t find myself in the drastically changed persona. Time is on my side and patience is my friend as I become a new face, because the one in the upper right hand corner of my blog is gone.
Change is all around us as we travel through our lives. I know a person who told me that choosing to do a wrong thing for selfish reasons had riddled said person with guilt and agony; but after choosing it again and again, it became a comfortable habit to live wrongly. I recall thinking to myself as those words poured out of this person’s mouth, that making bad choices can be changed to good if we but reverse the process and let that better choice be awkward for a time until that healthy one settles into us… Thus we save ourselves, yes?
We have to change in order to mature. That’s a given. We also have to count the cost when making that change. And, while my change has no way of ever going back to who I saw in the mirror yesterday, I know that (having thought it through) I am still ME in my heart of hearts; so, I myself never went away. And, neither do others go away who make changes in their lives which feel good and are thought through. We each of us can concentrate on the improvement of who we are at the core of ourselves… We move forward toward the addition of renewed grace and growth within.
May your changes come carefully to you, and draw you to a better place each day. Oh. And, this hair? Give me a while to get use to it and I’ll post a different photo.
Best… Carolyn Thomas Temple
